I know I should not write about this subject and as I consider it I have no idea what I am going to write. For sure I will not advocate this kind of life. Few could regard marriage more highly than I do and I love to see happily married couples. They are the very pillars of society. I will say that again. THEY are the very pillars of society.
My family has many strong marriages, in fact, all of my seven siblings have great marriages. My parents were handholders well into their seventies when my mother died. Several of my father’s siblings never married. Likely no one would have them. I agree with whomever said that he “would not marry anyone who would have me.” Having lived alone for nearly twenty years probably makes me unfit to live with anyone. Also, my big houses are behind me but I still have a lot of those burdensome possessions I pay the mortgage to keep… “for surely they will possess you.”
I cannot find any way to reconfigure my things in my downsized dwelling in a different way, so there is no room for anyone else to join me. That had crossed my mind before and might be as good a reason as any for me to avoid spouse hunting. Also, I can wash clothes, cook better than most women, take my shirts and pants to the cleaners, so why would I need a wife? You notice I did not mention housekeeping. Companionship? I cannot recall ever being lonely, except when I am with people who I do not wish to be with. My sons are grown up and enjoy a good relationship with their mothers and me. They, nor anyone else, need me for anything substantial.
This kind of life brings freedom. There is a country song to the effect that “freedom is just another word for nothing else to lose.” I love a good phrase, so I think I remember it for its linguistic tone rather than because it reflects my outlook.
I stick with characterizing being able to eat pizza for breakfast and cornflakes for dinner as freedom. Freedom to schedule activities as long as they do not conflict with other things you schedule or spend your money within the bounds of obligations to one’s debtors. Freedom to sit around and write something meaningless like this little message.
By all means, I suggest that everyone marry and become that pillar of society we need.
My family has many strong marriages, in fact, all of my seven siblings have great marriages. My parents were handholders well into their seventies when my mother died. Several of my father’s siblings never married. Likely no one would have them. I agree with whomever said that he “would not marry anyone who would have me.” Having lived alone for nearly twenty years probably makes me unfit to live with anyone. Also, my big houses are behind me but I still have a lot of those burdensome possessions I pay the mortgage to keep… “for surely they will possess you.”
I cannot find any way to reconfigure my things in my downsized dwelling in a different way, so there is no room for anyone else to join me. That had crossed my mind before and might be as good a reason as any for me to avoid spouse hunting. Also, I can wash clothes, cook better than most women, take my shirts and pants to the cleaners, so why would I need a wife? You notice I did not mention housekeeping. Companionship? I cannot recall ever being lonely, except when I am with people who I do not wish to be with. My sons are grown up and enjoy a good relationship with their mothers and me. They, nor anyone else, need me for anything substantial.
This kind of life brings freedom. There is a country song to the effect that “freedom is just another word for nothing else to lose.” I love a good phrase, so I think I remember it for its linguistic tone rather than because it reflects my outlook.
I stick with characterizing being able to eat pizza for breakfast and cornflakes for dinner as freedom. Freedom to schedule activities as long as they do not conflict with other things you schedule or spend your money within the bounds of obligations to one’s debtors. Freedom to sit around and write something meaningless like this little message.
By all means, I suggest that everyone marry and become that pillar of society we need.
Well done Dr. Bogle. What prevents bachelorhood is the innate ability to identify women who don't know they deserve better....Ive mastered the practice, otherwise, pizza would replace my morning eggs.
ReplyDeleteE.-I have not been for twenty two years. I have had opportunities to change my single life, but I asked myself what would be the point? I have two sons and have a good relationship with them. One of their fathers, my first husband, is deceased, but my younger son's father, my second husband is still alive. My second husband adopted my older son when he was seven and I was married to him until he was twenty, so all that is over and done. I like having friends both male and female. I have a comfortable income and am now retired doing as I please. I too am not lonely and think you said something profound when you said you are only lonely when you are with people you don't like. So, there you are. I liked someone's definition of marriage who said "We marry to protect one another's solitude". Now if I could find a man who would agree to that, I might reconsider.
ReplyDelete~giudetta